Why Counselling?
We often have a sense that ‘things’ don’t feel entirely right for us emotionally or mentally - sometimes it can take us years to recognise it, accept it, or for it to grow within us. Sometimes we can feel it or sense it fairly quickly. Emotional pain or discomfort might be the result of a life event such as a bereavement, loss of work or an abuse (for instance physical, emotional), a marital/relationship breakdown, or more long-standing, hard to name feelings from a difficult childhood, or just a change of direction in life which we are finding hard to navigate/work place issues. Or we can feel we really just don’t know what has caused it.
The point is it’s never too late, or too early to address it. Addressing your emotional/mental health needs through counselling or psychotherapy is one of the best ways to start to understand and resolve emotional difficulties/upset, and live a more fulfilling & authentic life. It’s not a quick fix but it works at a deep level via understanding (of who you are, what happened to you and how to move forwards).
Many people have difficult childhoods to varying degrees - perhaps a childhood which felt emotionally lacking in one way or another, or something more traumatic. This can leave people with questions, low self-esteem, lack of self-belief and subsequent difficulties in their own adult relationship & life. I see therapy as a way of starting to see that these ‘obstacles’/wounds do not have to determine and define our future (but that they often need to be worked through to understand their impact; on how we see ourselves, the world and others).
The process can feel painful or difficult at times, because as humans we often need defences to survive & move forwards, and looking at them can be hard. These ‘defences’ can be like sea walls that gradually becoming ineffective. We can tell ourselves ‘I’m just this type of person’, ‘it wasn’t that bad’, ‘I’m tough’, and for a time that works really well for us/feels very sensible. In many ways it was sensible at the time because it allowed us to survive. Over time these defences start to become defective/unhelpful and can stop us living fully, and the low mood or worse seeps or floods in. These defences or unhelpful beliefs/behaviours can be replaced or at least seen with greater understanding and this can provide a new way of seeing yourself & perhaps others too.
